How to manage a domestic helper in Singapore, the fair way

To manage a domestic helper well, write her job down, show her how you like things done, and check in once a week. Pay her on time, give her real rest, and raise problems early and in private. MOM sets the floor: a weekly rest day, salary paid within 7 days after each pay period ends, 3 meals a day and a safe place to sleep. When talking doesn't fix something, MOM lists helplines that advise and mediate.

How to manage a domestic helper, step by step

1. Write down her daily routine and the baby tasks, and name the one person she takes instructions from. Stick the list on the fridge so everyone works from it.
2. Show each task once, then let her try it while you watch. MOM notes that a new helper from a rural area may find your appliances, high-rise living and childcare habits unfamiliar.
3. Hold a short check-in once a week. Ask what's hard for her, then agree on one change at a time.
4. Give feedback in private, and be specific. Say what you saw and what you'd like instead, and thank her for what went well.
5. Agree her rest day with her, then log it in MOM's FDW eService. MOM's rule is one rest day a week, and at least one a month can't be swapped for pay.
6. Pay her full salary no later than 7 days after each salary period ends. If you pay cash, MOM says you both sign each salary record.
7. Let her hold on to her own phone and money. Under MOM's salary rules, you can't keep her salary, bank book or bank card for her, even when she asks.
8. Keep her work to chores in your own home, because MOM says she can only do domestic chores at the address declared to MOM. Tell MOM first if she'll mind your child at a relative's place.
9. Ask for help early if talking stalls. MOM lists the Centre for Domestic Employees (CDE) on 1800 225 5233 for counselling and the Association of Employment Agencies (Singapore), or AEAS, on 6836 2618 for mediation.

Fair house rules, and what MOM requires

Good house rules are about the work and about safety. They leave her own time alone. Keep the list short, write it next to the routine, and explain the reason for each rule. If you're still hiring, our domestic helper interview questions help you agree them before she says yes. The table sums up what MOM's employer's guide for a migrant domestic worker (MDW) requires, whatever your own rules say.

Her phone belongs to her. MOM's Ask Jaya advice page says a phone is her personal property and she should have access to it. It also suggests keeping the phone away for tasks that need full focus, such as cooking, cleaning, child care and medicine. A line you could use:

"Phone goes in your room while you bathe the baby or cook. On your breaks, call home whenever you like."

Give her breaks during the day too. MOM advises you to encourage her to take breaks in private. Our helper rest day rules guide has the detail on half days, deferred rest days and rest-day pay.

Common domestic helper problems and what to try first

According to MOM's Ask Jaya page, disputes tend to start over employment terms, chores, phone use, house rules or cultural practices. Talk first: sit down, let her explain her side, then calmly give yours, and try the simplest fix before anything bigger.

For baby care, helper baby care training lists the courses, and raising a baby with a helper covers how to split the work with her. Before you agree to any loan, read helper salary advances and loans. If she's new, the new helper arrival checklist covers her first weeks.

What MOM does not allow

• Work at another address or for someone else. She can only do domestic chores at the address declared to MOM. Illegal deployment can bring a financial penalty of up to $10,000 and a ban on employing helpers.
• Care at a relative's home without telling MOM. You must notify MOM first and have her written agreement, and she can't do the full housework in both homes.
• Keeping her salary, money, bank book or bank card, even at her request.
• Punishing her yourself. MOM says that even if you suspect a misdeed, you must not punish her, and criminal matters go to the authorities.
• Any abuse or ill-treatment: MOM can debar employers for abuse, for not paying her or not giving her adequate food and rest, and for tasks that put her safety at risk.

Window cleaning has its own safety rules. See helper window cleaning safety.

Thanks, raises and the long run

MOM suggests you acknowledge her hard work and say thank you. Do it often, and name the thing she did. Something like:

"Thanks for getting the baby down for her nap. That new routine is working."

MOM also suggests raising her salary from time to time as a reward for good work and loyalty. You can agree a contract gratuity too, paid when her contract with you ends. To plan for that, see the full cost of a domestic helper.

MOM notes she may feel homesick and lonely. It asks employers to help her keep in touch with family, and to be patient while getting to know her background. If you've both tried and it still isn't working, MOM's Ask Jaya page treats ending the job as the last resort. Our guide to transferring a domestic helper walks through MOM's steps.

When to get help

• She seems withdrawn, sleeps badly, eats much more or less, or talks about dying. MOM lists these as signs of distress. Call the MOM MDW Helpline on 1800 339 5505 (Monday to Friday, 8.30am to 5.30pm) or Samaritans of Singapore on 1767, open 24 hours.
• If anyone at home, her included, is in danger, call the police on 999. MOM gives that number for life-threatening situations, and our family violence help guide lists other services.
• A dispute won't settle after a proper talk. MOM's Ask Jaya page says to try your employment agency first, if you used one, and then AEAS or CDE.
• If you suspect theft or another crime, MOM's rule is to report criminal matters to the authorities rather than punish her yourself.
• For questions about a rest-day arrangement, MOM points employers to its online feedback form.

Frequently asked questions

How do you manage a domestic helper when she's new?

Show more than you tell. Walk her through each task, write the routine down and check in at the end of each week. MOM says she'll need time to get used to your way of life, so train her early. Our new helper arrival checklist covers the admin.

How do I treat my domestic helper well?

Pay her in full and on time, give her the rest she's owed, and let her keep her phone and her money. Thank her, explain your reasons and give feedback in private. MOM also asks employers to help a homesick helper stay in touch with her family.

What should I do if my helper is not doing work properly?

Check the job is clear first. Show the task again, add it to the written routine and look at it together a week later. If that doesn't work, MOM's Ask Jaya page suggests your employment agency, then AEAS or CDE. Don't cut her pay or punish her. MOM says her salary must not be lower than what you declared.

What house rules for a helper are fair?

Fair rules cover the work and safety: the routine, phone-free tasks like cooking and bathing the baby, and not posting family photos without permission. They don't take away her phone, money or privacy. MOM says you must tell her where any camera is, and never put one where she sleeps, changes or bathes.

What are the most common domestic helper problems?

MOM's Ask Jaya page names employment terms, chores, phone use, house rules and cultural practices. MOM's well-being guide adds loneliness and money pressure from home as possible causes of stress. Most ease with a calm, private talk and a clearer routine. The table above shows what to try first.