How to wean from breastfeeding: drop one feed at a time, what replaces it by age, and looking after your breasts

If you're working out how to wean from breastfeeding, drop one feed at a time and wait a few days before you drop the next. Replace each one with the right milk or food for your child's age, so your breasts and your child both have time to adjust. The NHS says the timing is up to you and your baby.

How to wean from breastfeeding, step by step

1. Pick a calm few weeks to start, since Raising Children Network suggests not weaning during other big changes such as starting child care or moving house.
2. Drop the feed your child seems least keen on first. The NHS says any feed can go first.
3. Replace it with a drink that suits your child's age, as the table below shows. Under 1, that's expressed breast milk or formula, says Raising Children Network.
4. Wait a few days or a week before you drop the next feed. The NHS puts it simply: move on once you've both settled into one less feed.
5. Fill the old feed time with a cuddle or a snack, because Raising Children Network says time with you helps your baby feel secure without the breast.
6. Express just enough for comfort when your breasts feel full. Raising Children Network warns that expressing too much keeps your supply up and makes weaning take longer.
7. Put cold compresses on between feeds to ease swelling and pain, as SingHealth's HealthXchange suggests.
8. Leave bedtime and night feeds for last. Raising Children Network says these are probably the feeds that comfort your child most.
9. Tell your helper and the grandparents the plan, so whoever is on duty can settle a night waking with a cuddle or a cup of water.
10. Expect the whole process to take a while, because the NHS says stopping completely can take anything from a few weeks to several months.

Weaning a baby vs weaning a toddler off the breast

What replaces the breastfeed depends on age. HealthHub says milk should be the main source of nutrition in the first year, so a baby under 1 needs another milk in its place.

Moving to cow's milk has its own steps, covered in when your toddler can drink cow's milk. For meals that fill the gap, see a balanced diet for toddlers.

Weaning a toddler off the breast is often about comfort more than food. Raising Children Network says older children feed for security and comfort, which can make weaning stressful, and suggests talking with your child about the change a few weeks or months before you start. After that, stop offering some feeds but don't refuse when your child asks.

Plan outings at the usual feed times, and wear clothes that make your breasts harder to reach. For night feeds, Raising Children Network suggests a simple rule your toddler can follow, such as "We only have a breastfeed when the sun is up again."

Looking after your breasts when you stop breastfeeding

Your body keeps making milk for a while. The NHS says stopping gradually helps prevent engorged breasts and mastitis, and Raising Children Network says that if you stop quickly your breasts may fill with milk and get very uncomfortable. Near the end, it says, you may need to go from one feed a day to one every few days.

If you have a blocked duct or mastitis right now, wait until it has cleared before you wean, and then go gradually. SingHealth's HealthXchange says stopping suddenly isn't advisable with either, as it can raise the risk of a breast abscess.

Raising Children Network says your breasts may feel lumpy for 5 to 10 days after the last feed. Gently stroke a lump towards your armpit or express a little milk. Our mastitis and engorgement guide has more home relief.

If you have to stop quickly, see your doctor or a lactation consultant first. Your doctor may discuss ways to make it more comfortable, so check with them before you take anything to dry up your milk.

Weaning from the pump works the same way. KKH's lactation service suggests expressing about 10% less at alternate sessions for a couple of days, then cutting back again, and pushing each session back by an hour. It says you may need 1 to 3 weeks before you're comfortable without expressing at all.

Your mood may dip as well. Raising Children Network says it's quite common to feel a bit down after your last feed, even if you were looking forward to weaning, and your hormones can take time to settle. If the low mood stays, see your GP or a polyclinic. Our postnatal depression guide lists where to get help.

Extended breastfeeding: feeding to 2 years and beyond

Feeding past the first birthday, or past 2, is a normal choice. HealthHub says you can breastfeed up to two years and beyond, for as long as you and your baby want, and KKH's lactation service gives the same advice. The NHS notes that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding alongside solid food for up to 2 years or longer.

Food takes over as your toddler grows. HealthHub says that between 1 and 2 years more of their calories should come from food, and by 2 most of them should. It adds that you can keep feeding if you're pregnant again. For what the research does and doesn't show, see the benefits of breastfeeding.

Stopping breastfeeding when going back to work

HealthHub says there's no need to stop breastfeeding just because you're returning to work. The NHS says you can express at work, give your milk to your child's carer or use formula while you're away. Or keep only the home feeds: HealthHub suggests feeding just before work and as soon as you get back.

HealthHub says to begin expressing and storing milk two weeks before your maternity leave ends. That gives your helper or infant care teachers time to practise with the bottle or cup. Planning to stop altogether? Use those weeks to drop daytime feeds one by one. Our bottle guide, mixed feeding guide and return to work checklist cover the rest.

When you cannot breastfeed, or it stops early

Sometimes breastfeeding isn't possible, or ends sooner than planned. For a baby under 1, the NHS says infant formula replaces the breastfeed. Our formula guide shows how to make each bottle safely, and your polyclinic or paediatrician can help you choose a formula.

Donor milk in Singapore comes from the KK Human Milk Bank, and KKH sets who can have it. Its list covers babies born before 35 weeks and sick babies under 1 with qualifying conditions in its intensive care or high dependency units. Some compassionate cases qualify too, such as an adopted baby or a mum whose milk isn't safe because of illness or medicine. KKH says the milk is charged and stops when your baby is discharged. To give milk instead, see how to donate breast milk.

However feeding ends, you may feel sad or relieved, and often both at once. Give those feelings room and talk to someone you trust. Bottle feeds can be close too, so hold your baby near and talk to them as they drink.

When to see a doctor

See a doctor or a lactation consultant if you notice any of these:

• A painful breast lump or inflamed patch that hasn't gone after 24 hours, or flu-like symptoms. Raising Children Network says to see your GP.
• Worsening inflammation, pain and fever for more than 24 hours. SingHealth's HealthXchange says to seek medical help, as you may need antibiotics.
• A blocked duct that won't clear after several feeds, some expressing and cold compresses, which HealthXchange says needs a lactation consultant.
• A baby under 1 who isn't gaining weight as feeds change. KKH's lactation service says weight gain is the best gauge, and the weight chart in your child's health booklet is your guide.
• A toddler drinking a lot more than 500 ml of milk a day, which HealthHub says may mean they aren't eating enough.
• Low mood after weaning that doesn't lift. Raising Children Network says feeling a bit down is common, so see your GP if it stays.

For breast problems and feeding worries, see your GP, a polyclinic or a hospital lactation service; our breastfeeding support guide lists where to find help. KKH says your polyclinic or family doctor can treat common conditions in young children. Take urgent problems with your child to KKH Children's Emergency or NUH Children's Emergency. Call 995 for an emergency, such as trouble breathing, a seizure or a child who can't be woken.

Frequently asked questions

How to stop breastfeeding without pain?

Drop one feed at a time, express only for comfort and use cold compresses for swelling. If a lump stays painful past 24 hours or you feel feverish, see your GP.

Is extended breastfeeding past 2 years normal?

Yes. HealthHub says you can breastfeed up to two years and beyond, for as long as you both want, and the NHS sees no reason not to continue into the second year and beyond.

How do I wean a toddler off the breast at night?

Leave night feeds until last. Raising Children Network suggests a sleepover with grandparents or your partner reading stories instead of a feed, and someone other than you settling night wakings with a cuddle or a cup of water. Keep bedtime relaxed, with plenty of cuddles.

Do I need to stop breastfeeding when going back to work?

No. HealthHub says there's no need to stop just because you're returning to work. You can express at work, add some formula or keep only the home feeds.

What do I feed my baby if I cannot breastfeed?

For a baby under 1, the NHS says infant formula takes the place of breastfeeds. Donor milk from the KK Human Milk Bank goes to babies who meet KKH's criteria, mostly premature or sick babies in hospital.

Can I start breastfeeding again after weaning?

Sometimes. The NHS says restarting may take a lot of time and not everyone will make enough milk for their baby. Regular expressing and offering the breast can encourage your milk, as can skin-to-skin contact, and a lactation consultant can guide you.